Ask the Mustang
by Storm Alchemist
Summary: Ask Roy a question! The first chapter was done with random questions... some not questions. If you review, include a question for the flame alchemist inside of the review so I can answer it. R&R! there is also a girl named Cassy in the first chapter,
1. Chapter 1

Ask the Mustang

Dear Roy,

Someone is bullying me at school for my height, and I can't think of any good comebacks. Do you have any?

**Comebacks for being called short? I can't really think of any, I don't know anyone who has really good comebacks. If you ask Fullmetal he might be able to tell you some things to say such as "Who are you calling so small that it only takes a nano-second for me to load on limewire!" You know, that sort of crappy thing.**

Dear Colonel Roy Mustang,

How do you keep your men so loyal and trustworthy while sticking to your morals?

**It's simple really, all I need to do is be really hot all the time and everyone wants to be around me!**

Dear Rooooooooy,

I love you!

**Why thank-you... but it says here that you're a male. cringe**

Dear Roy,

Get a good wife!

**Hey who is this! Maes stop screwing around with my mail! And these are starting to get weird!**

Dear Roy,

Hi, it's Cassy! I just want to know where you are, I'm starting to get worried that I'm going to have to do your work for you! COME BACK! rages Oh, and what are you doing Sunday? Maes thinks we should all go to get some pizza at the pub, even though I don't think they even serve pizza at the pub... whatever. See ya when you get back! XOXO

**I'm not coming back if you're doing my work for me! That's awsome! dances around so I won't say where I am... but I'll come back in time for pizza. Do they have pepper pizza? Like hot Pepper pizza? And why is everyone talking to me instead of asking me for my opinion?**

Dear Roy,

What! It was you! I thought I was talking to my psychiatrist! Oh god... I just told you that I go to a child psychiatrist... and that I go to school. Damn you fart brain colonel!

**xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD**

Dear ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOY!

I STILL LOVE YOU MY BUCH OF HUNNY BUNCHES!

**GO AWAY!**

Dear Roy,

My best friend just died in a car accident, what should I do?

**Just suck in the pain, don't let the rain sting you more than you sting inside right now.**

Dear Roy,

Well... I hope they have pepper pizza. Do you have a second choice for pizza? Maybe they have hot salami

**Uhm... I guess that's my second choice if the other fails, I'll come at 8:00 from my hiding place and eat some pizza. Then I have to go back and write the second chapter. cya'**


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Colonel Jackass,

Do you love Riza? And why do you call Edward short?

-A. Future Friend

Jackass... sigh Why are all these people so mean to ME! takes out a gun and shoots himself in the leg. Anyway, about the first question... BECAUSE HE IS SHORT! DUHHH!

Maes: That's the second question dumbass.

Oh, right... about that... Flees

Dear Roy,

Are you gay? Oh and if you can, teel Fullmetal that I think he's hot!

I hope Roy gets it...

What did I tell you? They all hate me... SOB! Fine! I'll write a story like that in my fanfiction, "random x". SOMEONE GIVE ME MORE SUGAR! I WANT SUGAR DAMNIT!

Riza: He's always like this when he drinks juice

Hey how did you get her!

Riza: I shot you and put you in a bag... you're so dumb you didn't notice.

Oh, ok.

Lol! This is great! Let's see if I can think of one Thinks for a

moment

How 'bout this "Why do you enjoy irritating Hawkeye?"

I never realized that I irritated Hawkeye... but I do enjoy annoying her by doing random things to get out of work. Like cleaning windows for example!

Riza: Roy, get off the carpet, you're bleeding all over it!

Riza: Roy?... Roy?

Maes: poke I think he's hallucinating

SIGN MY NAME! starts to sign his name in the air

Riza: GOD BLESS JUICE! gives Roy a pen and papers he needed to sign

gets up and cleans the windows

Riza: sob

**WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT! PLEASE REVIEW AND ASK MUSTANG MORE QUESTIONS!**

**Roy is currently writhing around on the ground in mexico because he drank water instead of juice!**

**fin**


End file.
